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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Life Lessons: Trust

Life is full of disappointments. I really need to make it a life policy to not get my hopes up about anything, ever. Period. That way, when it doesn't work out the way I hope, I can't be disappointed. Well, that's easier said then done, huh?

I made it a life policy long ago to never regret anything I do, because it's exactly what I wanted regardless of how it turns out. I also made it a life policy to take at least one lesson from each mistake I make along the way.

Right now, I'm a little bummed over some information I just happened to stumble upon thanks to Facebook for Blackberry. Before I reveal what that is, let me give you guys just a little bit of back story.

Up until recently, I was employed as an Assistant Manager at a gas station. I began working at a store maybe 5 minutes from my house in July 2009. In October 2009, I was transferred to a store about 25 minutes away in Bristol. There was this guy, we'll call him Jack, that came in on a regular basis. He was a fleet customer and always got diesel. Well, I always thought Jack was kinda cute and he was always real sweet. He'd tell me every time he came in "I came just to see you." A little cheesy, I know, but I fell for it. I finally worked up the nerve to give him my cell phone number in January, and he text me that very night. We've text, talked and hung out here and there ever since then. But, it's always been a bit hot and cold. He always explained it away as being so busy with work. Although I was a little skeptical, I brushed my pessimism aside because I really liked Jack and I wanted to see where things could end up.

As I previously mentioned, I stumbled upon some information thanks to Facebook for Blackberry. I was on Facebook just a while ago, and I was in the search for friends area. Well, since I have the Facebook app installed on my Blackberry and it's synced with my Facebook account, you can search for people based on their mobile phone number. So, I hit the button to see which of my phone contacts were on Facebook that I had not added yet and guess who pops up? Yup, you guessed it...Jack! So, I click on his name to view his profile, and that's when I discover that he is MARRIED!

What the f*ck? Are you serious? Yes, yes I am.

I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry. It just figures with my luck that this would be the case. This explains a lot, but at the same time it just makes me feel bad, dirty, wrong....oh I could go on an on. I know I could be jumping to conclusions. He could be seperated from his wife. But even so, if you're seperated from your spouse...are you going to list your marital status as married? No, you're going to list your marital status as seperated or single. Even so, he never ever mentioned anything to me about having a wife or being married. Ever. So, he was obviously trying to hide that fact.

Ugh, men! Or in this case, should I say boys?

So, what's the lesson I can take with me from this mistake? Maybe his hot/cold behavior should have had me more on guard. (Actually, it did. But, Richard told me to stop being so pessimistic.) Maybe I should always look up potential dates on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc. and scope out their profiles for anything they could be trying to hide. Bottom line? I need to stop being so trusting. Not just when it comes to men, but in my life in general.

(x-posted)

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